EXPERIENCE #32: ACTUALLY MAKING MY VERY OWN PROPER WEBSITE

Well it's not actually my very own, it's for the campaign group I'm with but still I made it and I'm feeling pretty chuffed with myself.

In between working, sleeping and kanoodling with Sam I've been working on it for the past week and a bit and finally got it done this evening.

I'm going to stop this entry short because I'm all computered out now.

I definitely dedicate this one to my step brother Jamie who had to literally hold my hand and guide me through this step by step.

Take a look for your self lovewadebridge.com

EXPERIENCE #31: HAVING A LOOK AT SOME REAL LIFE WHALE GUTS

This experience should have been titled having a look at a real life dead whale but sadly the carcass had turned to mush by the time we got to have a look so we only really saw its guts bobbing around in the sea.

For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, this week the body of a fin whale (second largest animal on the planet don't you know?) washed up on Porthtowan beach down here in Cornwall.

For me this was too good of an experience to turn down and so with a little help from some friends I  managed to get down to the beach to take a look at the body for myself.

Annoyingly the tide was in so we weren't able to get down the cove that it was in and as I already mentioned it was pretty much just a mushy pulp that was left.

Regardless its not every day you get to have a good old gander at whale insides and I'm grateful to everyone who made it possible for me to see it.

I dedicate this one to my brother who I know has a love for both whales and also dead things. Love bruv x

EXPERIENCE #30: SHARING MY NEW FOUND WEALTH WITH SOMEONE LESS FORTUNATE

Today for the very first time in a long time I had a big wodge of cash at my disposal.

Since returning from my travels I've literally lived off the charitable kindness of others which has at times felt pretty shitty. So when I left the bank today and saw the local Big Issue Magazine vendor getting soggy in the drizzle I really felt for him.

I asked him if he would like a hot drink to warm him up and he said he'd love a hot chocolate. I pootled off to buy him one and a muffin and then on my return I bought a magazine from him.

We had a chat about how miserable the weather was and how it definitely was not suitable magazine selling conditions.

I didn't do all this because I pity him or regard myself as any better than him, it was merely the fact that after a good two months of people having to buy hot drinks for me it was nice to be able to buy one for someone who probably really fancied one but couldn't afford it.

EXPERIENCE #29: WRITING A DISGRUNTLED LETTER TO THE COUNCIL

So I guess its official, I have actually come of age.

I have two freshly sprouted grey hairs on the top of my head, an appointment with the eye specialist concerning my failing eye sight and now I'm writing angry letters to the council; I'm an old man.

In all fairness it is for a good and decent cause, it's about the supermarket proposals that I am campaigning against.

I have never written a letter of complaint before in my life perhaps because I'm usually content with a little grumble and then I'm fine. This however is serious and something that felt good to write.

Politics go way over my head and so I went down the more heart splicing moral based road which I think worked well.

I wonder if I will get a reply?

EXPERIENCE #28: LEARNING TO BE NORWEGIAN

Hallo!

Ja thats right friends, as I type this up I am sat in my warm and rather itchy authentic Norwegian sweater listening to the soothing sounds of Erland Oye (he's Norwegian don't you know?) and reflecting on the past half an hours worth of intensive Norwegian dialect training I've just undergone.

You see I'm pretty sure that somewhere in my body there must at least a dribble of Norwegian blood considering how set I am on one day living there.

I already have a pretty impressive roster of woolly jumpers and my wood chopping skills are the strongest they have ever been. Plus everyone knows how much I love whales and Norway has loads of them. What I don't have however are any catchy little Norwegian phrases to throw into conversations and so for today's experience I decided I would learn some.

Probably my favourite is "Han felt nedi et baekkalakk, det va jaevlig tidi!" which means "he fell down a manhole, that was fucking funny!"

Second place goes to "Ey' du! Va besteforaeldrene dine vikingar?" meaning"Excuse me sir, was your grandparents vikings?"

I got to grips with the alphabet and numbers to ten which with a bit of practice i should be able to recite from heart.

Mit navrn er Dan - there you go I just said my name is Dan, good aren't I?!

Hade! (Bye Bye!)

By the way I came across this guy when looking for lessons, he is perhaps the most awful language teacher I have ever seen, strangely I like him.

EXPERIENCE #27: WORKING AS A RECEPTIONIST FOR THE DAY

My normal position at work is in the restaurant serving food and doing some serious customer arse licking. Today however I found myself working on reception and single-handedly manning the whole bloody hotel.

I sort of knew what I was doing, well when I say sort of what I mean is that I am aware of the usual receptionist type duties such as answering phones and checking people in and out.

Turns out there is quite a bit more to it than that and consequently I totally sucked.

Firstly I put a lady in the hotels nicest room when she was actually meant to be staying in the shabbiest; I had to boot her out and she got really grumpy with me about it.

I was also really rubbish at doing the whole reception voice thing down the phone and accidentally shouted at a woman.

My last duty was to show a couple to their room and I accidentally scatted the lady over, it was actually mortifying!

I'd always wanted to know what it was like to be a receptionist and now I do, it's shit.

EXPERIENCE #26: WATCHING A MOVIE IN 3-D

Today as a belated birthday treat mother dearest took me to see Avatar in 3-D.

It's the first time I have ever seen a movie in three dimensions and in all honesty I'm not sure I liked it.

I'm allowed to say this considering I have already watched the movie in 2-D which I considered to be visually spectacular.

I think its probably the fact that it strained my eyes and I accidentally kept fingering (he he) the lenses making them all smeary.

The scenes in the jungle were pretty cool actually and I liked the way that dirt and explosions were all up in my face, I think maybe I'm just too much of a traditonalist for this sort of thing; I like my images sent directly to my eyeballs and not scrambled up or made all complicated.

Thanks anyway though mother, this one is for you my darling x

EXPERIENCE #25: WITNESSING A CAR CRASH AND TASTING PASSION FRUIT ICE CREAM

It's been a bit of a quiet day today.

I'm not feeling that great (swollen glands) and am working the most stupidest hours, so come five o'clock I had nearly given up on a new experience.

However, whilst cycling in to work for my evening shift I witnessed a car crash.

I probably should of stuck around and given a statement or something but I assessed the situation and everything was being handled by others and plus I really didnt want to be late for work.

Also at the end of my shift as a reward for probably being the best waiter ever I got a dollop of passion fruit ice cream to gnosh on. It was pretty damn good.

So sorry that they aren't the best of experiences but they are still new so there.

EXPERIENCE #24: MASTERING MY FIRST SUDOKU PUZZLE

Ever since I was a wee nipper my inability to grasp even the basic concept of Sudoku has infuriated me.

When it popped into my head yesterday that I should try and learn I knew that this would be one of the more rewarding of my new experiences simply because its been such a burden on my life for such a long time.

So today I literally spent three hours working on a puzzle. I began by reading up on the art of Sudukoing and actually got off to a pretty good start.

I completed the entire centre block and truly thought that I had cracked it. Sadly this wasn't the case and my numbers got all jumbled and my brain started smoking.

I decided that I was probably more suited to the more novice versions of the puzzle and had a scout around on the Internet for something a little simpler.

I found a site and went for 'Easy Puzzle 1,209,156,495'. The board was still a challenge but I had a pleasant little cyber auto response person above my Sudoku puzzle who told me I was doing great; he made me happy.

I had to work this evening and so got to have a little breather from it; I got back about an hour ago and finished the last fifteen numbers really quickly.

The strange thing is that although I finished the bloody thing I'm not even that fussed. To be honest the whole ordeal felt very much like a three-hour maths lesson compacted into eighty-one stupid little squares.

I suppose at least it's done now and I can say that I defeated Sudoku gremlin all by myself, well almost I guess...

This one is dedicated to the pleasant little cyber auto response person from 'Easy Puzzle 1,209,156,495', thanks for always reminding me that everything was OK.

EXPERIENCE #23: ACTUALLY GIVING SOMETHING UP FOR LENT

I have never ever given anything up for lent in my entire life.

To be honest I hadn't even intended to start this year either but the thing is I'm at the end of my day and am still experienceless.

As I was a little unsure as to what new experience I was going to do, this morning I took the precautionary measures of giving up two things for lent just in case.

So for the next forty days and forty nights I have chosen to go without two of the most vital necessities in my life, coffee and underwear.

Wish me luck.

EXPERIENCE #22: SWIMMING IN THE SEA IN FEBRUARY

Sam and I were taking a walk on the cliffs last week when he commented on how cold it must be in the sea right now, I then realized that I had never been in the sea during the winter months.

So when my sister invited me along for a walk on the beach today I knew what my new experience would be.

When we arrived it was hailing and really, really blustery and I not being one to back down from a new experience bravely clutched my towel in my chilled paws and headed down to the water.

Luckily the bad weather subsided and the sun came out. We walked down to the quieter part of the beach, I stripped down to my pants and without thinking (or feeling really) ran and dove into the water.

In all honesty it actually wasn't too bad at all. Admittedly I didn't stay in awfully long but I think that was more the fact that my brain was convinced that the coldness was going to hit me at any second.

It was an exhilerating feeling and I'm glad I did it.

This one is dedicated for Taylor and his nifty work documenting the whole thing with my camera.

EXPERIENCE #21: HELPING SOMEONE ELSE WITH A NEW EXPERIENCE.

I know that this one may seem like cheating a little but it has been one that I had intended to do from the beginning.

I liked the idea of experiencing someones new experience and sharing the joy of what I am doing for a hundred days.

I took a bath with someone who told me they had never done it before so it was sort of a big deal.

We went all out and had music, wine and candles (it was valentines day after all) and soaked in the tub for a good few hours.

I think my bath mate enjoyed the new experience a lot and I was more than happy to be part of it.

This ones dedicated to Sam x

EXPERIENCE #20: COOKING A SUNDAY ROAST FOR ONE

So during my first few shifts at the restaurant I have started working in we had a lot of people coming in to eat all on their lonesome.

We got to talking about how depressing it must be eating in such fancy place alone with no one to talk to.

Now when my parents headed off for a week long stint in Paignton today, I was left with a big hole in my day where the traditional weekly roast was usually.

Although it wasn't eating out alone I decided that family or no family, Sunday roast would still take place and I would simply cook one up just for myself; this way I could I could sort of see how those loners felt.

I used up the last of my veg from the community gardens and set a place at the table for one. Although the lack of conservation was a little odd it was still a splendid occasion and the fact that I could lick the plate clean afterward made the meal even better than usual.

EXPERIENCE #19: BECOMING A PRISONER PEN PAL

Today I signed up to become a prisoner pen pal.

I'm not entirely sure why I decided to do it but the the site was bookmarked on my computer and so I presumed that it was one of the many things that I have always meant to do but never got round to doing.

Thinking about it I quite like the idea actually, I enjoy writing to people and who could be more interesting than someone who has done something terrible enough to land them behind bars.

EXPERIENCE #18: DOCKING

or a least trying to...

EXPERIENCE #17: EATING A BIG SLICE OF BAKED ALASKA

Now the reason as to why I have never tried baked alaska before I do not know, however I was offered a slice this evening at work and I do believe that it could be the greatest dessert ever!

For those that don’t know, baked alaska is basically meringue, ice cream and spongy goodness all cleverly put together.

The sponge acts as the base, next comes the ice cream that is somehow insulated by the meringue (who the heck came to realize this I do not know) and this stops it from melting when it’s being baked!

I ate it whilst setting up the restaurant for breakfast so every time I came back for a bite it had melted a little more and turned the meringue into a delightful gooey mess.

EXPERIENCE #16: COOKING SAUSAGE CASSEROLE FOR FIFTY-ONE KIDS

Today I started my brand spanking new job as a cook in a nursery school.

My task today was to whip up a sausage casserole for fifty-one little cherubs. I sort of figured that being as they are very little people, put all together they made about one or two normal sized people and so it would be pretty easy going.

What I wasn't aware of was how much kids apparently eat these days! They quite literally polished off two huge pots of the stuff and whatever was left they mixed in with their ice cream pudding and ate up too.

I suppose I felt proud that they liked the stuff but I must admit I am a little daunted at the thought of going back tomorrow when I will be making lasagne and a victoria sponge...eek!

EXPERIENCE #15: STARTING A NEW STUDY COURSE

For my twenty-first birthday, my mother bought me £170 worth of Open University gift vouchers to spend on a course of my choice.

They have literally been sat on my desk collecting dust for the past two years and so I finally decided to sit down have a look at courses to register for.

I decided to on a short course in ocean studies, considering my plans to do research on humpbacks this summer I thought it was rather appropriate course to choose.

EXPERIENCE #14: OFFICIALLY HAVING BRUNCH FOR THE FIRST TIME

I have never been too sure as to whether waking up late and having my cereal at a later than usual time of eleven counts as brunch.

Regardless, I have always wanted to be able to say to someone "lets do brunch tomorrow" and so I did.

My friend Sam and I had ice cream and pancakes, pastries, grapefruit and hot choc in a bowl (I'm so freaking cultured!).

It was actually lovely and I think I sort of got to understand the joy of brunching.

The meal wasn't entirely a breakfasty feast or a lunchtime affair; it was sort of in between.

It sort of felt like I was doing something a bit naughty, that whilst everyone else had woken early and scoffed down soggy rice krispies, we were enjoying pancakes gone eleven at a nice leisurely pace.

EXPERIENCE #13: GIVING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL A CHANCE

Pretty much everyone I know loves the High School Musical (HSM) trilogy. I'm not the biggest fan of musicals as it is but there is just something about this one that makes me feel even more nauseas.

However, after enjoying the new series of Glee so much that I actually watched some episodes back to back, I was persuaded to give HSM a chance.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but I usually found myself laughing at the parts that I shouldn't.

The songs were pretty tacky but not the cool kind of tack but the yucky sort. The story also made no real sense and everyone was far too happy for my liking.

Plus Efron is still a giant douche bag.

EXPERIENCE #12: LIVING MY LIFE BY THE FLIP OF A COIN

This experience was based on an idea given to me by my brother Bill who told me about a man that let a dice make all of his daily decisions for him.

I thought that I would keep it nice and simple and use a coin that could tell choose how my day was set out with a simple yes or no answer.

I ended up starting the day with a lovely stack of pancakes although the coin was rather picky on what topping I was allowed which was usually just lemon.

It decided that my chums and I should go for a game of bowling which I should then lose (which strangely did happen) and then finish it off with a peanut butter milkshake.

Being my birthday weekend the coin delegated when, where and how many of my presents I was able to open, which was more than a little frustrating.

Come evening time when we all headed to the bar the coin told me what drinks to have, this included a shot of tequila which is a big no no for me...bleurgh.

As midnight came about a lady came holding a coin bucket and asked whether I had any change to give to charity. I flipped the coin one last time and in some strange sort of unspoken goodbye it decided that it should go in the bucket and I was free again to make my own decisions.

EXPERIENCE #11: PACKING UP VEG BOXES FOR LOCAL TOWNSFOLK

Today was my first day helping out at the community vegetable patches.

I got the grand tour around the whole site and met some gorgeous little spotty piglets. They all trotted over to me like little dog/baby things and started scuffling round in the mud, it was brilliant!

I was asked to dig up the last of the parsnips (which were absolutely ginormous!), give them a wash and bung them in the veg boxes. I got to help out with the artichokes which is also a first for me; such a strange vegetable.

By the end of the morning we had completed all the box orders and I got the chance to have a chat with the other volunteers. One of them looked like a scarecrow, I liked him.

I was given a big bag of veg to take home, which was very good of them; I now have all the things I need to make a Sunday roast, score!

EXPERIENCE #10: HAVING A KISS WITH A CERTAIN SOMEONE

Thats all I'm saying...

EXPERIENCE #9: JOINING A LOCAL ACTIVIST GROUP

When I moved back home I was told about proposals that had been put through by Morrisons and Sainsbury's to build two ginormous new supermarkets just outside of town.

I did a little research into what people from the town were doing about this and found out about a group called ilovewadebridge who are actively opposing the whole thing.

I emailed the chap who was running the group and he told me that they were recruiting people to help with the cause.

I'd been involved with campaigning against national and international issues before with Greenpeace but never anything on a local level and really wanted to get lend a hand.

So today I attended the groups very first meeting and became an official 'helper'. There were a lot of great suggestions on how this could all be tackled and what we could do within the community to get more people on board.

For some reason I always get a little shy when there are lots of new people around and so didn’t really say much which was so stupid because I had some monumental ideas to put forward... bloody idiot.

I did however volunteer to make protesting banners and help in street campaigning which is better than nothing!

EXPERIENCE #8: LEARNING THE FINE ART OF PORNOGAMI

Today I decided to lighten the mood of my experiences a little and have a go at some pornogami.

Pornogami was made up by some clever oriental chap named Master Sugoi and as the name suggests it's basically origami of the sexual variety.

The idea came about when a friend suggested I give origami a go which to be honest I thought was sort of lame. He then tried to jazz the whole thing up a bit by adding that perhaps I try and make an origami willy.

I liked this idea a lot and so I had a little look around on the net and found the work of Master Sugoi. This guy is fantastic; he can make penises and vaginas with just a square piece of paper!

I followed his instructions exactly and after half an hour had a rather accurate paper representation of a cock.

Filled with glee, like a child bringing home is artwork from nursery school I pootled on downstairs to present my paper genitalia to my mother.

Surprisingly my mum who's usually pretty liberal thought it was revolting and told me to get it away from her face.

Anyway it’s got pride of place on my desk now and I am chuffed as buttons with it.

Thank you Master Sugoi for your guidance and thank you Marc for the suggestion, this ones dedicated to you baby!

I have added the video I followed so that others can learn how to master this beautiful craftwork. Enjoy.

EXPERIENCE #7: MAKING AMMENDS WITH MY GRANDMOTHER

So I don't really want to go into the gory details of all the whats, whys, whens, wheres and hows of how we ended up not talking for eight years, but it did happen.

Tonight I was given the opportunity to see my grandmother again and so I did; I think if anything this experience was less for me and more her.

She's nearly eighty now and since the last time I saw her has gone through two more pet dogs (she has always had a tendency to overfeed them).

She's also gone and done what older people tend to do she's aged considerably.

I suppose this was the thing that shocked me the most and I know it's a little dreary to mention but I suppose I'm glad I made things up with the old gal before...well you know.