Today at work someone was telling about how they wasted a good fifteen minutes of their life taking an online version of the famous Rorscach Test, you know the one with the silly splodges on the bit of paper.
So i wrote down the address on my hand (which by the way I spelt Rawshock, what a ditz) and rushed home to spend up those fifteen minutes of my life that I had kept spare for such an occasion.
I'd always wanted to give one of these a go but my mum never left me alone long enough for me to have a chance to approach a professional about my "issues" and I don't have any friends with a surplus of ink large enough to create a bundle of homemade blots let alone the skills to analyze them for me.
The free online version is a little iffy to be honest and so i took two different ones just so I had a second diagnosis.
So here they are, judge if you may but I'm yet to be officially classed insane and I don't personally feel that there is anything wrong with having a "sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence", so there.
TEST ONE:
Sickness Quotient: 92%
WARNING: Your Sickness Quotient of 92% is very disturbing.
Detailed Diagnosis
- Interpersonal Insights
You think everyone is out to get you, and you're absolutely right. It's because you're an awful person without any redeeming qualities. Your friends (both of them) think you're a total clod. As long as you continue to buy the beer, however, they'll still be your pals.
- Job Performance & Attitude
You frequently mention terms like "core competencies" and "paradigm shifts" while at work. Stop acting like such a tool. You have little empathy for anyone more successful at work than you, which is pretty much everyone.
- Personality Insight
Your personal motto is "Find something you love, and do it." Unfortunately, your test results indicate you really love sheep.
TEST TWO:
Compared against a baseline index of approximately 5,000 'standard' responses, your responses indicate the following:
Diagnostic Overview:
You have a disregard of all rules and take sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, you like hockey. There is no likelihood of your making any recovery from this, so wallow in self-pity and then have another beer and some chips. People who answer as you did have bizzare clown-phobias.
Long-Term Prognosis:
You will need intensive psychological care for the rest of your life because of the factors described above. Stay away from other people if at all possible; just use the internet. Don't go outdoors or you're doomed. You are deeply scared of anything dangerous, violent, or threatening, which actually makes perfect sense, now that we think about it.
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